It's Saturday night...,

and I think I'm gonna like it here.

Green Day

Sense of Smell

Two days ago while changing a diaper I caught a whiff and the thought seriously drifted through my mind "Is that the worst thing I've ever smelled?" After I had caught my breath and dried my eyes I remember some different times in which I had encounters something worse, but it brings us to the latest question.

Bird in Home Depot

Phase II

After a week and 5 fatalities I have decided to implement phase II.
Chemical Warfare.

Sonic

What's your favorite thing from Sonic?

Politically Correct

We had sexual harassment and discrimination avoidance training. Of
course all I can think about is what would Michael Scott be saying.

Gorilla

3 inches of glass between me and him, but I still felt like Sigourney Weaver.

Overkill

Is there really a scenario where they could run out of shopping carts?

Butter or Fake Butter?

What's wrong with this picture?

Momma alway said

If you grew up in my family and if you're reading this you did. Our mother would always ask upon return from school, "Tell me something you learned today". A tradition I plan on passing down to my kids.

• Madonna's real name is.....(drumroll).... Madonna?...Madonna Louise Ciccone Ritchi to be exact
• John Denver's real name is Henry John Deutschendorf, Jr.

I guess his agent was afraid people weren't going to buy off on "Thank God I'm a country boy.... named Deutschendorf"

Phase 1 Shock and Awe

I read that they like cotton because its good nest material and they
like peanut butter because, ..well who doesn't.
14 traps. Lock and load. Let's get it on.

Krull

Turkey

Q: How do you make a turkey float?
A: Get two scoops of ice cream, some root beer and a turkey.

Hey..., where are you guys going?

Taco Bell

In college a friend of mine gave me some solid money saving advice
I'll not soon forget. "If you don't have enough money for a bean
burrito, just squeeze a couple of hot sauce packets in your mouth.
It's like the exact same thing."

"Hey Shrek its me"

Here's Secily's new toy which she just told me is a donkey? "My
Little Donkey"?

Raj Rajan's Auto Shop

Raj has been our mechanic ever since our engagement night when my car broke down and we got towed to his shop. Note: no computer anywhere in the office.

Save on gas

The best feature of this peaceful traditional homestead? Besides the
beehive dome and skylight that is perpendicular to the ground; its 100
yards away from Love Field's active runway.

Happy Birthday

It's Christmas in May for somebody.

Happy Mother's Day

Link

Bubbles

May 23rd

• Once I didn't buy clothes for a year


• One time I laid off soft drinks for a year (period ends 5/23/08)


• One time from 5/2308-5/2309?

More than eggs

On my way to pick up eggs and hazelnut creamer I was unsuspecting that I'd witness a battle of such epic proportions.

Comfort

The most comfortable position in sports. Golf cart. Feet up.

In other news, my sister had a baby girl.

Link

Scared of the ice?

Most people like ice cold milk, but not milk with ice in it. ?
-I'm not scared.

Popeye's Fried Chicken

Trying to think of a time I had a spork meal that let me
down....Nope, can't do it.

Ready for battle

If we ever fight a war on a planet made of cotton candy, then this one
is ready for the trenches.

Travis Pastrana

Jump

Iphone Jailbreak

Goodbye Apple warranty. Hello Mario Bros.

Galaga

Overcome by technology, I retreated to the safe embrace of 1981 where everything made sense.

Some days I feel like a dolphin

Does anyone have a SeaWorld employment application?

Photo by ShashankMittal

Tim Nolan

The most convincing evidence that this guy's tricks are for real: "United We Stand" tee, classic 80's sweats with pearl white adidas and a solid tuck.

Link

Joke

Did you hear that the Energizer bunny was arrested last night?

He was charged with battery.

Thank you Chris Hurt for this gem.

Dogleg Right

Hot Pockets

Sideways

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic

Byron Nelson

Garrett and I went by the Byron Nelson Pro-AM today where 2008 Masters Champ Trevor Immelman politely asked me to mention him in today's post.

How to make a milkshake

Put strawberries, ice cream, milk and yogurt in blender
For specific amounts see picture

Camera Phones

"Ok, I just need you three to act like you're taking a picture of
something really interesting....Alright, got it. Have a nice day."

Suite

B. Lars hooked us up with Stars tickets in the company suite. They had
free cookies and the Stars won. Sweet.

Moving

What percentage of Americans have changed their address in the last 5 years?
Question provided by Elwood Larson.

Band of Brothers

With the NFL draft a week away I'm always reminded of the best non-drafted athletes.

1998 Texas Tech Intramural football. Bristol U

Country Livin'

Curlers...check.
Fishing equipment...check.
We're still missing the double wide and a pantry full of Spam. Actually, just the double wide.

"I'm Batman"

May 1980 -----------------------April 2008

After 28 years of quiet slumber, the bat is back.

Parental Units

• When my dad was 16 he beat Jimmy Connors in tennis.
• My mom played a cream pie wielding clown on TV named Piedo.

A match made in heaven

Why beautiful women marry less attractive men